[ Some part of her is wondering, but at the same time, she isn't as unhappy as one would be. She's already gotten it in her mind that she has no right to ask for more than what she gets, so why insist?
Jyuto's words make her look surprised though. ]
Really? Ah... Riou-san is kind to think so, but we're not... that? I like Samatoki, tis true. He is very dear to me. I'm happy as things are, as he is. I'm not the only one he cares for, after all. Thank you, though. I'm grateful that you're understanding as well.
[ She's not sure what else to think of them anyway. ]
But it's why I admire you, Iruma-san. You've a kinder heart than you like to show others. I have a feeling your answer may be more clearer than you think. But it is wise to give it time. If only for your own satisfaction.
[ Always honest— she hopes whatever is troubling him does grow unfogged. His next question makes her wonder. ]
A party for my day of birth? We usually just celebrated by giving my people presents from the palace gardens Meals and treasures, blessed by the oracle. They would celebrate with dances and processions. Something like that... But it was mostly for them, to celebrate than something for myself alone. Why do you ask?
Because this year, perhaps we could throw a small birthday party. What you're describing doesn't sound terrible, but it's very backwards in comparison to the world I come from. Would you like to try celebrating it our way? Let me know what you think.
[ He gracefully avoids talking about his own feelings anymore. He's been stewing in them privately lately, but doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He feels like he's already told her too much, because no one else is aware of the predicament he feels he's in. ]
[ A party for her? Where she works usually does decorating for others' parties and the like. ]
I wouldn't be opposed... I've only helped decorate such events, though. I wouldn't be able to afford anything of the sort. Unless it was a very small venue.
[ She only makes enough chroma to get by. Though she can tell he's trying to change the subject, and she wants to ask more, but.. timing. She's going to look for an opening. ]
I imagine one of our apartments should suffice enough? Something too extravagant isn't necessary. Some of my best birthdays were spent in the comfort of my own home. If I told you how the party were to proceed, I feel that'd spoil the surprise of it. How about we set a day aside for it and you just find out that way?
You would do that for me, Iruma-san? You've already done so much. I've only been a burden to you. And now you're troubling yourself for such a thing...
May I at least hear of your burdens in return? If you are set on this, then I can only hope I may provide you some comfort. I promise whatever you have to unload will never slip past this tongue.
I think it sounds like it could be fun, it’s really no trouble at all. You seem interested. I think we should hold this party on Sunday, the 16th. It should give us time to recover from Valentine’s Day festivities, and me more time to prepare something small.
[ It isn’t often anyone outside of MTC asks for him to unload on them. There’s a soft smile on his lips upon reading. ]
And very well. But only if you, in turn, do the same. You’re a kind woman and this world will try you until you may not be anymore. I don’t want that to happen to you.
I don't mind whenever it is held. Truthfully, I'd be fine with just greetings. But if I could see everyone's smiling faces, that would be more than enough. Thank you, Iruma-san, for thinking of me, too.
[ She doesn't really have any desires most humans would for the occasion, though his next words make her chuckle aloud. ]
I've already lost a lot, back home. I don't think I'd allow myself to lose myself, too. But please, speak candidly whenever you can. Especially to those you hold dear. Fear will only hold you back, after all... And I would like the best for you, too. As well as for those around you.
I'm not so sure. I've never been compelled to think too deeply about it, but I suppose it's arrogant for humans to assume that they're capable of understanding everything that happens in the worlds around them.
They're real where I come from... Though I hear humans seem to follow them in ways that may not be how they want.
The reason I ask, is... Back where I come from, I serve as the voice of my goddess. Sometimes, the things I feel I should do, aren't things my goddess wants of me. So I end up obeying in my servitude, perhaps for the better. Perhaps for the worst. I'll never know at times.
You're fortunate to not have that, Iruma-san. You're free to decide where you wish to lead your life. My goddess has never guided me badly, but- Seeing you humans hesitate in things I would easily accept were I given the chance for it... Is a bit sad.
I just hope whatever you decide will lead you to your contentment. But if ever you doubt, I'd hope I can assist in clearing your thoughts, if just that.
So you’re almost like a prophet or priestess, of sorts? That’s very interesting. This is going to sound ridiculous I’m sure and while I don’t mean to be the voice of evil or anything, I just wonder what if you were to try and live your life more like a human while living here? You’re removed from your world, so it’s an opportunity as any. It isn’t as if there are any princess responsibilities or expectations that have followed you here, but then again, who am I to talk? I’m also the one trying to recreate my circumstances from back home and making the drug war in Lunatia a problem of my own when it isn’t… Anyway, I’d like to think you’re free to choose?
I am the Oracle of my people, yes. It's not ridiculous at all, for a suggestion. I have been trying, but...
I've my reasons, for not engaging as much. Though I want to... everything I've seen is so fascinating. But the point of my words is, you always have your choice, Iruma-san.
I have to be careful, even when I have it. I have a condition... I suppose. It's what the people here call it. Back home, it's called a curse.
[ Her next reply comes a while after. ]
May I... Ask you not to speak of this to anyone? I ended up telling you without thinking. I don't want anyone to be scared of me.
I won’t tell anyone, your secret is safe. It seems like a valid reason to be nervous about word getting out, but I believe that those who want to spend time with you will do so regardless of whether or not you are or aren’t cursed. Do you know if there’s any way magic here may break it? It may be something of interest to look into. I could help you investigate, if you’d like.
I wish it were possible. But it's a part of me, whether I like it or not.
Some of the spiritkind has their own form of "allure". One that can charm those around them. Foxes are the ones that hold the strongest allure of all. Mine own is... corrupted. It can cause an influence that is close to maddened lust in men. I was left vulnerable at birth after the Demon Lord of the Underworld attempted to claim our land, and the Goddess' light within me protected us. And one of his minions used it to corrupt my allure. I believe... they are what you call pheromones here.
It has already destroyed the relationship between my adopted brother and myself. I would rather it doesn't do so to anyone else. That is why, even if I feel the way I do for Samatoki, I can't risk hurting him with myself. I wear limiters to reduce the risk, but every month I have to remove them to let my body breathe. If any men were to be around me, then, they'd be sent into a frenzy and strike at anyone nearby, becoming like beasts.
Back home, I was locked away for years once it worsened. It was my childhood friends who found a solution, however temporary. But it's why I need to be careful. Thank you, though. You're the first I've told of this. It feels like a relief to have at least one person know...
Hm. I’d like to think that if a minion managed to corrupt your allure that there may be some way to purify it here. There are all sorts of moonblessed here, some who aren’t human and come from worlds similar to your own. Perhaps it’s something worth not giving up on. If it’s Samatoki you’re worried about, you shouldn’t. Nothing scares him. He’s been through a lot. Even if he knew, I know for certain that he wouldn’t leave your side. And neither will I, rest assured. Regardless of that fact, I will respect your wishes. It’s your decision to tell others, should you ever decide that you want to.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Jyuto's words make her look surprised though. ]
Really? Ah... Riou-san is kind to think so, but we're not... that?
I like Samatoki, tis true. He is very dear to me.
I'm happy as things are, as he is.
I'm not the only one he cares for, after all.
Thank you, though. I'm grateful that you're understanding as well.
[ She's not sure what else to think of them anyway. ]
But it's why I admire you, Iruma-san.
You've a kinder heart than you like to show others.
I have a feeling your answer may be more clearer than you think.
But it is wise to give it time.
If only for your own satisfaction.
[ Always honest— she hopes whatever is troubling him does grow unfogged. His next question makes her wonder. ]
A party for my day of birth?
We usually just celebrated by giving my people presents from the palace gardens
Meals and treasures, blessed by the oracle.
They would celebrate with dances and processions.
Something like that...
But it was mostly for them, to celebrate than something for myself alone.
Why do you ask?
no subject
What you're describing doesn't sound terrible, but it's very backwards in comparison to the world I come from.
Would you like to try celebrating it our way? Let me know what you think.
[ He gracefully avoids talking about his own feelings anymore. He's been stewing in them privately lately, but doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He feels like he's already told her too much, because no one else is aware of the predicament he feels he's in. ]
no subject
I wouldn't be opposed...
I've only helped decorate such events, though.
I wouldn't be able to afford anything of the sort.
Unless it was a very small venue.
[ She only makes enough chroma to get by. Though she can tell he's trying to change the subject, and she wants to ask more, but.. timing. She's going to look for an opening. ]
What do your parties entail?
no subject
Something too extravagant isn't necessary. Some of my best birthdays were spent in the comfort of my own home.
If I told you how the party were to proceed, I feel that'd spoil the surprise of it.
How about we set a day aside for it and you just find out that way?
no subject
You've already done so much. I've only been a burden to you.
And now you're troubling yourself for such a thing...
May I at least hear of your burdens in return?
If you are set on this, then I can only hope I may provide you some comfort.
I promise whatever you have to unload will never slip past this tongue.
no subject
You seem interested. I think we should hold this party on Sunday, the 16th.
It should give us time to recover from Valentine’s Day festivities, and me more time to prepare something small.
[ It isn’t often anyone outside of MTC asks for him to unload on them. There’s a soft smile on his lips upon reading. ]
And very well. But only if you, in turn, do the same.
You’re a kind woman and this world will try you until you may not be anymore.
I don’t want that to happen to you.
no subject
Truthfully, I'd be fine with just greetings.
But if I could see everyone's smiling faces, that would be more than enough.
Thank you, Iruma-san, for thinking of me, too.
[ She doesn't really have any desires most humans would for the occasion, though his next words make her chuckle aloud. ]
I've already lost a lot, back home.
I don't think I'd allow myself to lose myself, too.
But please, speak candidly whenever you can.
Especially to those you hold dear.
Fear will only hold you back, after all...
And I would like the best for you, too.
As well as for those around you.
Do you believe in any deities, Iruma-san?
no subject
I've never been compelled to think too deeply about it, but I suppose it's arrogant for humans to assume that they're capable of understanding everything that happens in the worlds around them.
I can't believe I lost this tag
Though I hear humans seem to follow them in ways that may not be how they want.
The reason I ask, is...
Back where I come from, I serve as the voice of my goddess.
Sometimes, the things I feel I should do, aren't things my goddess wants of me.
So I end up obeying in my servitude, perhaps for the better. Perhaps for the worst. I'll never know at times.
You're fortunate to not have that, Iruma-san. You're free to decide where you wish to lead your life.
My goddess has never guided me badly, but-
Seeing you humans hesitate in things I would easily accept were I given the chance for it...
Is a bit sad.
I just hope whatever you decide will lead you to your contentment.
But if ever you doubt, I'd hope I can assist in clearing your thoughts, if just that.
As your friend!
no subject
That’s very interesting.
This is going to sound ridiculous I’m sure and while I don’t mean to be the voice of evil or anything, I just wonder what if you were to try and live your life more like a human while living here?
You’re removed from your world, so it’s an opportunity as any.
It isn’t as if there are any princess responsibilities or expectations that have followed you here, but then again, who am I to talk? I’m also the one trying to recreate my circumstances from back home and making the drug war in Lunatia a problem of my own when it isn’t…
Anyway, I’d like to think you’re free to choose?
no subject
It's not ridiculous at all, for a suggestion.
I have been trying, but...
I've my reasons, for not engaging as much.
Though I want to... everything I've seen is so fascinating.
But the point of my words is, you always have your choice, Iruma-san.
I have to be careful, even when I have it.
I have a condition... I suppose. It's what the people here call it.
Back home, it's called a curse.
[ Her next reply comes a while after. ]
May I...
Ask you not to speak of this to anyone?
I ended up telling you without thinking.
I don't want anyone to be scared of me.
no subject
Do you know if there’s any way magic here may break it?
It may be something of interest to look into.
I could help you investigate, if you’d like.
no subject
But it's a part of me, whether I like it or not.
Some of the spiritkind has their own form of "allure".
One that can charm those around them.
Foxes are the ones that hold the strongest allure of all.
Mine own is... corrupted.
It can cause an influence that is close to maddened lust in men.
I was left vulnerable at birth after the Demon Lord of the Underworld attempted to claim our land, and the Goddess' light within me protected us.
And one of his minions used it to corrupt my allure.
I believe... they are what you call pheromones here.
It has already destroyed the relationship between my adopted brother and myself.
I would rather it doesn't do so to anyone else.
That is why, even if I feel the way I do for Samatoki,
I can't risk hurting him with myself.
I wear limiters to reduce the risk, but every month I have to remove them to let my body breathe.
If any men were to be around me, then, they'd be sent into a frenzy and strike at anyone nearby, becoming like beasts.
Back home, I was locked away for years once it worsened.
It was my childhood friends who found a solution, however temporary.
But it's why I need to be careful.
Thank you, though.
You're the first I've told of this.
It feels like a relief to have at least one person know...
no subject
I’d like to think that if a minion managed to corrupt your allure that there may be some way to purify it here. There are all sorts of moonblessed here, some who aren’t human and come from worlds similar to your own. Perhaps it’s something worth not giving up on. If it’s Samatoki you’re worried about, you shouldn’t. Nothing scares him. He’s been through a lot. Even if he knew, I know for certain that he wouldn’t leave your side.
And neither will I, rest assured.
Regardless of that fact, I will respect your wishes.
It’s your decision to tell others, should you ever decide that you want to.