[ Not really. But he can't let Kogami know that, or he'll definitely snoop around and take action. He doesn't trust that Kogami wouldn't be able to figure out what happened on his own. As much as he hates to lie to him, Jyuto has to put on his best front and pretend everything is all right is on his end. It'll only make things worse if he is truthful. ]
Hey. I'm well for the most part, but work has been a lot for me lately. I haven't been getting enough sleep at night.
[ it's a curious thing -- kogami normally wouldn't really care one way or another, it just isn't him, and he's always been pretty lowkey. but they haven't spoken to each other in a longer time than kogami's come to be accustomed to.
so maybe he's spoiled and concerned. a little. ]
I can tell. [ he says gently, gesturing to his eyes with a faint smile. ] Eyebags. You need any help with that?
Are they that ugly to look at? [ An attempt at some humor, a short laugh scuffs his throat. Jyuto rubs his eyes beneath his glasses with his fingers, leaning in closer to look at himself in the front camera. His bottom lids are a little puffy and dark, he can see it too. ]
[ something's off. jyuto's more distant now, less... warm, and kogami wonders why. it's like he's going through the motions, and kogami can't put a finger on it. ]
[ He thinks it over. Is time off what he needs right now? If he stays in, it isn't as if he'd be able to get any more sleep. He'd only relive his murder in his head over and over again, trapped and unable to share. Jyuto shakes his head— ]
I work best when I'm busy, and I don't know what I'd do with the free time. There's been too much on my mind involving a recent case, so I don't see myself able to potentially relax even if I were to go home early or miss a day.
[ kogami murmurs, reaching out again because he has to know. maybe he's found someone else -- the thought of that stings more than kogami ever cares to admit. ]
I need that. [ He pauses. Jyuto's already missed two days of work without any sort of forewarning. What more might another day of recovery mean at this point? Though he can't admit to Kogami what happened to him, what he can admit is that he needs to be with Kogami in order to work through his feelings toward it. ]
Thank you. And... I'm sorry for worrying you. I'll take better care of myself from now on.
[ kogami's the last person to lecture anyone on taking care of themselves, really. he gives him a small smile. something's still wrong about this, but he pushes that instinct to the back of his mind. maybe spending more time with him in person can provide him with more insight. ]
I haven't had much of an appetite since last Thursday. [ But now that it's been brought to light, he really ought to force himself to eat at least a little something. Hmmm. ] I'm starting to get a little hungry now though, so I'd appreciate that. You can come whenever you want to, but I'll be ready for you by 1pm.
[ is it him or is jyuto being formal with him? kogami nods -- and of course, he turns up promptly at 1pm with two cans of coffee and a homemade bento. ]
You didn’t have to make anything. [ Jyuto can tell it’s homemade by the tub that it’s in. Neatly compact, plastic. When he’s finished with it, he’ll need to give the box back to Kogami. The faint smell wafting through the lid catches in his nostrils, and it does stir a little bit of something. He thinks he’s hungry? It’s likely. ]
Ah, right. [ He remembers. A tired smile. It’s more apparent that his days have weighed on him than what was visible in just the video, ]
[ jyuto looks -- he looks worryingly exhausted, and kogami's brows knit when he looks at him, pausing lightly to gently take his chin in his fingers. he's concerned, and when jyuto smiles it's barely something kogami recognises. ]
You've worn yourself out. [ he says softly, gently. ] Let me help you.
[ Jyuto doesn't pull away from the touch, but he looks elsewhere when Kogami studies him up close. His smile cracks when it's looked at. He's worried Kogami may see something he doesn't want him to. ]
Sorry. [ For not telling him. Guilt. He considers speaking up, but it only risks what he's managed to wrangle of the situation back together falling right back apart. He knows enough from what Kogami's confided in him about to know how he'll feel upon hearing what really happened. It isn't worth that weight on his mind, is it? ]
Your cooking managed to stir up my appetite properly, so that's a start.
[ jyuto isn't recoiling from his touch, so it isn't him -- at least, it seems that way. there's something off in the way he smiles, like it's brittle, fragile, fracturing in places jyuto doesn't want him to look.
kogami knows he's hiding something; he's learned a lot about jyuto in the times that they were together, become more attuned to his habits and his body language. this isn't quite the man he remembers, even if he can't put his finger on just what it is. ]
It is.
[ he says at length as he pulls away, heading towards the dining table to set the container down. jyuto's place is neat, scrupulously so, and he moves to let him sit. ]
I made rice and fish. With vegetables. [ he knows how jyuto likes his greens. ]
That sounds heavenly. [ Jyuto locks the door behind Kogami when he enters, trailing in behind him after gently scooting the shoes he’d removed at the genkan neatly together beside his own dark red ones. He senses that Kogami is worried about him, and he isn’t sure what he should say to try and alleviate it. He pulls out his chair soundlessly, sitting down before the bento box, and motions his head to the seat across from himself. ]
Can you sit with me while I eat? You could help yourself to— [ Right, there’s nothing in the refrigerator because he doesn’t stock up on groceries the way someone who actually cooks for themself or eats properly should. The few items he had spoiled when he’d gone missing, having been murdered. ] Nevermind, I don’t actually think there’s anything in there right now. I need to run by the super market this evening.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
video;
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Hey. I'm well for the most part, but work has been a lot for me lately. I haven't been getting enough sleep at night.
Re: video
so maybe he's spoiled and concerned. a little. ]
I can tell. [ he says gently, gesturing to his eyes with a faint smile. ] Eyebags. You need any help with that?
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Were you planning to buy me an eye cream, or...?
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[ something's off. jyuto's more distant now, less... warm, and kogami wonders why. it's like he's going through the motions, and kogami can't put a finger on it. ]
Maybe a few hours off.
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I work best when I'm busy, and I don't know what I'd do with the free time. There's been too much on my mind involving a recent case, so I don't see myself able to potentially relax even if I were to go home early or miss a day.
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[ kogami murmurs, reaching out again because he has to know. maybe he's found someone else -- the thought of that stings more than kogami ever cares to admit. ]
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[ He pauses. Jyuto's already missed two days of work without any sort of forewarning. What more might another day of recovery mean at this point? Though he can't admit to Kogami what happened to him, what he can admit is that he needs to be with Kogami in order to work through his feelings toward it. ]
Thank you.
And... I'm sorry for worrying you. I'll take better care of myself from now on.
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[ kogami's the last person to lecture anyone on taking care of themselves, really. he gives him a small smile. something's still wrong about this, but he pushes that instinct to the back of his mind. maybe spending more time with him in person can provide him with more insight. ]
Let me know what time you're coming around.
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[ Kogami hasn't come for a longer stay before. It's important that Jyuto illustrates how much he means to him in a time like this.
Especially in a time like this. ]
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Your place? Sure. Have you eaten yet? I can bring something over.
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[ One o'clock is afternoon, isn't it? ]
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[ is it him or is jyuto being formal with him? kogami nods -- and of course, he turns up promptly at 1pm with two cans of coffee and a homemade bento. ]
Hey.
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Ah, right. [ He remembers. A tired smile. It’s more apparent that his days have weighed on him than what was visible in just the video, ]
Welcome to my pad, finally.
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You've worn yourself out. [ he says softly, gently. ] Let me help you.
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Sorry. [ For not telling him. Guilt. He considers speaking up, but it only risks what he's managed to wrangle of the situation back together falling right back apart. He knows enough from what Kogami's confided in him about to know how he'll feel upon hearing what really happened. It isn't worth that weight on his mind, is it? ]
Your cooking managed to stir up my appetite properly, so that's a start.
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kogami knows he's hiding something; he's learned a lot about jyuto in the times that they were together, become more attuned to his habits and his body language. this isn't quite the man he remembers, even if he can't put his finger on just what it is. ]
It is.
[ he says at length as he pulls away, heading towards the dining table to set the container down. jyuto's place is neat, scrupulously so, and he moves to let him sit. ]
I made rice and fish. With vegetables. [ he knows how jyuto likes his greens. ]
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Can you sit with me while I eat? You could help yourself to— [ Right, there’s nothing in the refrigerator because he doesn’t stock up on groceries the way someone who actually cooks for themself or eats properly should. The few items he had spoiled when he’d gone missing, having been murdered. ] Nevermind, I don’t actually think there’s anything in there right now. I need to run by the super market this evening.